5 situations when you question: Do I deserve my beard?

As men, we love our beards. Hopefully most of us try to keep our beards well groomed too. But sometimes (and this happens mostly with the lazy ones among us our beards just seem to fall apart at the scenes. It all starts innocently enough, with a few strands out of place; but soon enough, a bad trim job, beard dandruff and several other signs start to show. So here's a lowdown of 5 signs that should make you sit up and ask one simple question: Do I deserve this beard?

1. Those white flakes in your hair are'nt snowflakes, you have disgusting beard Dandruff

Remember those stupid Clinic All Clear anti-dandruff commercials? The cheesy representation of the scalp and hair follicles and how dryness was the main reason for cocaine like dandruff flakes? Guess what? That stuff was true Turns out that skin dryness is indeed responsible for dandruff. So the next time you're standing in front of a mirror, running your fingers or comb through it, and discover white flakes falling like snowflakes on your chest, that's the sign to get off your lazy ass and start cleansing and conditioning your beard! Else just do yourself and everyone else a favor and just shave the bloody thing off, because you don't deserve the pride that comes with a beard!  

2. If you started with a full beard and ended with a goatee, you've had a bad trim job

If you aren't a fan of the full beard, you know how important it is to trim the fuzz, and style it to your satisfaction. If you're a DIY kind of guy, you will use a trimmer, or a razor and scissors. Now here's a lesson, every bearded man must learn. Leave beard trimming to an expert, or at least use a sculpting tool. Else you will start with a full beard, intending to turn it into a helmet strap, and then in one fell swoop that will turn into a French beard, or worse a goatee! It has happened to the best of us and there's no shame in admitting it, just as long as you learn your lesson and entrust the trim to the expert. Ask yourself if saving a few bucks, is worth a n amateur trim job!  

3. Even yetis don't like a hairy neck, and they're hairy all f****** over!

Balance out your beard. Know that the neckbeard is just about the ugliest effin thing on God's Green Earth and exterminate it with extreme prejudice. Neckbeards are not just sloppy, they are disgusting and a sign that you've actually given up and stopped giving four fucks in life. Even people with FULL BEARDS, hate neckbeards. Bloody Yetis hate neckbeards and they're hairy all over. So if you spot an uneven, ungainly growth of the neckbeard, please (we're begging you here), please get off your ass to a stylist and shear the damn thing off. Or ask yourself, if you've hit rock bottom, because in our opinion you deserve to be in beard jail! 

4. You've colored your beard and now look like a really strange karma chameleon

Before dyeing your beard, consider this, if your pubes were going grey, would you dye them too? If the logical answer to that was a resounding NO; then leave the grey beard alone. Colouring your beard is a choice you make, but a choice that is best made when you're in your 20s. The grey beard isn't a trend, but a statement. A statement that you're cool with the change that maturity brings with it and you're still a sexy man, that no one wants to mess with and women want to claw at! So if you've colored your beard and are looking like a weird creature way out of whack, then take a good long look at yourself and ask yourself, do I even deserve the awesome responsibility that is this beard? 

5. You've resisted grooming your beard, as just a trend, and now your friends refuse to be seen with you!

You wanted to be the outlaw, but your beard is so matted and dirty, you look like Robinson Crusoe. You wanted to be the rockstar, but instead you look like a deranged hobo. You were going for ZZ Top, but maybe now's the time to stop! Well the bottom line is that, grooming your beard was not the trend that you thought it was. Instead, it is the bare minimum you needed to have done in order that friends weren't embarrassed to be seen with you in public. Well it's never too late. Get some beard oil, some perspective or an appointment with a stylist, and your friends will be glad to have you back, sure they've missed you too!   Beards that look awesome, are an awesome responsibility, so in conclusion, be a little more committed to maintaining your beard, else you too, will have this question pop up time and time again.