10 things only a bearded man will relate to
Beards and men go together, like bikinis and women. Alright that was a sexist thing to say. But it is also a fact, much like the only doofus (of the male persuasion) that can pull of a bikini is Borat (and that broski has no beard). But the point is, beards indeed maketh a man. A man without a beard is a boy, and probably one with a bleached a*****e as well. Any way there are inside jokes, situations and memes that only bearded men can relate to This post is one of those so without further ado here are 10 things that only a bearded man will relate to
1. Having more than, or equal product to a woman
We Beardos are all about equality. And ladies, we feel your pain, because having an exemplary beard also means maintaining it, and maintaining it well, so we too have a vanity case that's full of product oils, beard washes, face wash, a UV lotion, the works so you see a bearded man understands a woman that much better!
2. Parental disapproval
Ever been to a family gathering only to be greeted by the good boys, or your male cousins who seemed never to have hit puberty? The boys you can deal with, literally treat them like children, it's their parents (and your own) who seem to be judging you with their glances. And the jibes, our particular favourite: Beta you look so much older with this monstrosity on your chin. Our favourite response: Yes (insert relative designation here) but then again, I didn't stop growing at puberty, like (insert baby cousin name here)!
3. The looks of terror on an international flight
Ever been on a flight with your beard? If you haven't, let's just say a lot of people will be terrified of you. For obvious reasons. In fact, don't ever, even by mistake speak to anyone in your mother tongue, quite simply because to the Western ear, any language that isn't English or German, sounds like Arabic. So unless you want to be on a no fly list or a no entry into the States list, play it safe if you know what we mean!
4. The looks of silent despair from people with patchy growth
So there are those among us who have the genetic make up for ample facial fuzz, and there are those that don't. And while our heart goes out to those amongst us who can't properly grow their beard, the way we can, we can't help but take some amount of vicarious pleasure from their plight (well, we're human after all, aren't we?). But for those with the patchiness problem we have two words for y'all Growth Oil!
5. The take me already look from most chicas
Let's face it, there's something really primal about a beard, and women (those with taste anyhow) somehow respond really well to the pheromones put out by a bearded man! So if you haven't yet noticed the come take me already look, we think you've been hanging out in the wrong places altogether
6. Who needs a plate when you have a beard?
It isn't uncommon for bearded men to find food stuck in their beard. While this can both be a boon as well as a bane depending on how clean your beard is, it is most definitely a reality. That's why use Beard Wash regularly to cleanse your mane, so that you can grab a snack or two when you least expect it :)
7. Being perceived as a terror, when you're not
So this one can be pegged squarely on the hell's angel type biker guys. While it can sometimes be advantageous (read in a sticky situation in a bar), sometimes it is just the legacy of a bad reputation. But all in all since the pros outweigh the cons, we think it is prudent to keep growing your facial fuzz, regardless.
8. Being the one that everyone and their uncle turns to for advice
Well with great beards comes great wisdom, and for being everyone's favourite agony uncle, you can thank Jesus, Gandalf, George R.R. Martin and every other wise beard there ever was!
9. The false tag of being branded a roughneck
Ask any woman who's dating a bearded guy and she'll have nothing but awesome, complimentary things to say about him. For the perception that all bearded men are probably animals, you can unabashedly thank Bollywood and the waxed, hairless creatures that are painted out to be heroes and superheroes (remember Krish, or laser beard removal guy)!
10. The boss who will definitely not mess with you; unless he's bearded and then he'll treat you like his BRO!
Need we say more? So this was our list of things that only bearded guys can identify with. If you've got something to add to this, make sure you get back to us in the comments below or on social media on our uber cool pages! Until next time, don't shave, it is just not worth it!